How to care for aging parents? When we are children from the time we are born until we are self-sustaining, we are cared for by our parents. As we grow older we have this feeling or attitude that our parents are always going to be there for us and take care of us for the rest of our lives. Unfortunately, as we age so do our parents. And there will come a time when our roles will reverse and we have to take care of them. I know many people just find a place, when the time comes, to leave their senior relatives to be cared for. Whether it is a lack of time or resources no one knows. I know I will try my damnest to take care of my parents myself in their own homes for as long as I can!
The big question is How to Care for Aging Parents?
I will try to give you and myself some hope that it will be possible for anyone to do this. First things first are to understand just how much care is needed for your family member. Not seeing the overall picture could have an adverse effect and you will be overwhelmed and hopeless quicker than necessary. So sit down take your time and make a list of what needs to e done every day, week, or month and how much help you might need considering everything else going on in your life. The easiest way is to take notice of what type of help your senior relative keeps asking for. This way you will know which areas you will need help with.
Be realistic, we all want to think we are superheroes and can take care of everything and everyone, but there is always a limit, and before you kill yourself take a step back and truly see what you can really take care of without putting your own health at risk. Because if you are out of commission who will take care of Mom or Dad or both? You do not want to hit burn out or injure yourself to leave them vulnerable.
How to care for aging parents takes patience, time, and a lot of creativity!
That being said, get help wherever you can. Have patience, it is a tedious job and needs a lot of time and effort. You also have to be a bit creative. Your list will come in handy right now. This way you can go straight to the source so to speak. Some of the help is just to give you a break from the day to day grind and stress. Even if it is just resting at home or going on some errands. Some ideas are to simply enroll your parent in an adult day program, or hire someone to come to the house to help you so you can get regular breaks. Or find a volunteer to come stay with your adult so you can get a few minutes’ breaks.
There is also what we like to call respite care which is for longer periods so you can longer break. Among other services you can also sign up for a meal delivery service, so you do not have to cook any more than you have to. You can also always ask other family members to help you run errands or to do the cooking once in a while. I know not everyone’s family is always able or willing, but it could work. You will just have to be patient, flexible, and creative.
How to care for Aging Parents with Medicare
Something else that can give you an advantage or respite is online shopping. Many stress about not having enough time to run errands which are mostly to restock your necessities. Shopping online and delivering it to your home will save you hours of driving from store to store and sitting in traffic.
Last but not least we all know that medicare barely pays for anything and if your senior adult was not able to save for their retirement because of various circumstances then you will need help caring for them. There are several ways or suggestions to help reduce your cost. Governments often have grants or benefits programs to help with a variety of costs. Private benefits are also available with a free quick and easy service from the National Council on Aging called Benefits Checkup.
All these programs cover a multitude of costly services like medication, health care assistance, food, housing, and even transportation. NCOA is a non-profit service advocacy organization. They have been improving the lives of seniors above 60 years of age especially those who are struggling. Did you know that in some scenarios you could get paid as a family caregiver? Some government programs do exist, BUT not available everywhere or to everyone. Hey, it does not hurt to check though.
3 PROGRAMS TO HELP TAKE CARE OF YOUR AGING PARENTS
There are three programs that I have found in my searches which will probably come in handy since I have two senior parents in their 80s. One is the Medicaid programs that give money to seniors so they can hire an in-home caregiver. That person could even be a spouse if other family, friends, or professionals are not available. Now each state has its own set of rules for eligibility and name for their program, which makes no sense to me, but who am I to say anything. And the amount of money depends on your qualifications.
The best place to look is Eldercare Locator and find your local Area Agency on Aging. Once you do find them, call them up and ask them to walk you through the application for eligible money available to you. Those who have special circumstances or do not qualify for Medicaid can look into special state programs. To find these special programs, again your best chance is to talk to your local Medicaid office or the local Area Agency on Aging.
The third option is the Veterans benefits program which of course helps veterans of any age to keep living in their own homes. Especially if they are at risk of being placed in an institution. Veterans can also choose their own live-in care person which could be a family member like you.
EXTRA HELP FROM SOCIAL SECURITY
We do not live in a perfect world and with bureaucracy and all the laws, forms are a way of life. In a perfect world, all seniors would qualify for extra help. However, being what it is then there are three different ways to apply for extra help programs. Applying online is the fastest way to do this at www.socialsecurity.gov/extrahelp/. Your senior parent might be like my parents and not have the patience or know how to do this online. They could also call the social security office at 1-800-772-1213 and request an application, but it might take a bit longer to get results. My suggestion is to apply online and save yourself the trip and wait in line. If you do not have access to a computer most libraries have computers you can use once you are a member. Usually, the cost for a library card is $.50 which is minimal.
There is also help with costly prescriptions. Medicare has a Part D that deals with that, however, this is a gap which is actually the limit to how much they keep paying. Once your adult hits that “gap” then the rest of the cost comes out of your or their pocket. But if your senior adult did qualify for the extra help which pays for Part D of medicare then they don’t need to worry about the gap.
SO HOW TO AFFORD PRESCRIPTION DRUGS FOR YOUR AGING PARENTS WHEN IN THE GAP?
Your parents can sign up for a prescription discount card. Most cards you can download, just make sure they do not come with any fees because that would defeat the purpose of savings. You also need to check with your pharmacy to make sure they accept the specific card.
Each brand of medicine or drug has its own coupons or sponsored programs to help with the cost of the medicine. You do that by searching for the name of the drug + coupon. Google is a good source to search for them. Another way is to just call the different pharmacies and compare their prices. We like Sam’s Club Pharmacy, they usually have cheaper prices. Sometimes you can even talk to your doctor or pharmacist. They might be able to find another brand or an alternative that does the same but at a much lower cost. It never hurts to ask and never hesitate to ask!
Now Transportation for your aging parents
Unfortunately there is not much help from medicare in this department which is very stressful. Take my situation for example. I work full-time and my parents specially my dad, who I love very much has many aches and pains. He has a lot of arthritis and has previously had two back surgeries and a Knee replacement. His back is his biggest problem at the moment and sometimes when he cannot tolerate it any longer he has to get a shot in the spine to dim the pain a bit. Well these shots are done in an out-patient setting, which is not a problem. The snafu comes from them requiring someone to not only drive him there, but stay there until the shot is done and to make sure they are driven back to his home. So what to do in this situation?
The way it works in our household either I take off or we work around my brother’s schedule or ask a friend. There is also Uber and Lyft that might have special rates for seniors. I understand that this situation might not work for everyone. You have to look into Medicaid and see if your aging parent qualifies for it or not. Now I have found a site that has volunteers to drive your senior parents to their appointments or places they need to go. It is a non-profit organization that sets up their clients with a volunteer to drive them to their designated destinations. The non-profit is iTNAmerica. Unfortunately, they only have affiliates working in 13 communities across 12 states, from Maine to Florida to California. I say unfortunately because for example, I do not live in the county they operate!
Some more cost-saving solutions for you and your parents:
So in conclusion there is help for you out there to help your senior or aging parent live a happy productive life. Look we all love our parents and want to do the best we can for them and some of the above suggestions will help you along the way. Now before I end this blog I wanted to direct you to some of our other cost-saving services or products as you may. We can save you about $100 a month. How do you ask? Free cable for your senior if you go to this link for TV ONLINE. They can actually accumulate points towards a purchase from the market place. We also have a FREE CHAT program so you can chat with your aging parents for free and privately without your conversation being recorded. So save some money, hug your parents and enjoy the time you have with them as best as you can.